Kim has struggled in her relationships with men for much of her life. She called me right after learning that her latest love had gotten married to someone else. Kim was totally strung out on the guy and kept going on and on about what he said and did and what all that supposedly meant. Part of Kim’s pattern is to talk things to death. She said that it helped her to talk things out. She’s talked about it for so long now, but it hasn’t resolved anything.
I asked Kim to picture her lost love and imagine him sitting here in the room with us. I went on to say “…Really feel his presence …imagine looking into his eyes and notice all the feelings, emotions, physical and energetic sensations that you experience in response to him in your body”. I then let her breathe into all those feelings and sensations for a while.
I checked in with Kim after ten minutes and asked her what she was experiencing. Kim initially said that nothing much was happening. But then she told me that she was experiencing an unsettling feeling in her abdomen, heartburn and pain in her back and neck. Her physical discomforts were also accompanied by feelings of sadness and anger.
I had Kim continue to breathe into the feelings and sensations for another ten minutes. And then I asked her how the feelings were changing. Kim said that her feelings were going back and forth. She said that she felt upset at times and then at other moments she began to experience a sense of confidence in herself.
I then said “…You’ve been strung out on that guy for so long now …How does that energy of being strung out feel in your body? Kim said the energy felt like she had been stuck in limbo for a long time and that there was a thickness to the energy.
I had Kim breathe into the thick energy of being stuck in limbo for some time. Kim told me after some time that she could feel a sense of chaos as pieces of stagnant energy began to break up and dissolve.
Patterns of unreciprocated love have an insidious way of reinforcing themselves throughout a person’s life as they create more and more pain. Many people develop patterns of falling in love with people who, for whatever reason, are not able to reciprocate. They can get stuck on a person for months or even years. They may finally give up on their lost love at some point, but they eventually meet someone else and they often find themselves locked into the same drama all over again.
People who are stuck in patterns of unrequited love tend to experience the same kinds of thoughts and feelings. And they want to talk about their problem …to anyone that they can get to listen to them. But other people seem to have a need to put their own spin on what’s happening. Other people’s input will often generate even more confusion and feelings of anxiety and that can make them feel really crazy.
Sometimes we need to talk things out to resolve our feelings. The problem here is that many people who get stuck in these kinds of patterns want to keep on talking about it. And you hear the same sad story over and over again. Talking it out may provide a momentary sense of relief, but there is also a danger here in that it can reinforce the same kinds of painful feelings and keep a person stuck in unfulfilling relationships.
Hurt, longing and other feelings of unreciprocated love tend to get stuck in our body-mind. And then our whole reality revolves around the drama of unrequited love. Deep tissue massage will help you to free up more of these stagnant energies and emotions that are stuck in the musculature and other parts of your body so that you can begin to digest them.
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