Getting strung out on another person pulls us completely out of our center. It’s critically important for us to draw our awareness back to our feelings and the physical sensations that we experience within our bodies.

Many of us will find ourselves in a situation at some point in our lives where the person that we desire is choosing not to be with us for one reason or another. We need to stop and ask ourselves “…What are the deepest feelings behind all this drama? How does this feel emotionally? How does the realization that I may never get to be with this person feel? Where are all these feelings situated in my body? And what kinds of sensations is this creating within my physical body?”

The hurt, pain and confusion can feel horrible. But the feelings of hurt and loss need to be digested so that you can free yourself from the pattern of unrequited love. Be as present as you possibly can by breathing softly and deeply as you allow yourself to fully experience all the feelings and sensations. Breathe into the hurt, longing and the feelings of emptiness and desperation. The feelings will probably continue to surface for some time. Continue to breathe into the feelings as they arise. Go out for long walks if the pain gets too intense. Long walks will diffuse the pain and help to ground you. This process takes time, but it will initiate a powerful transformation that will help you to heal the pattern of falling for people who are unavailable.

Our subconscious minds become habituated to failing at love. And we become imbued with the energies of loss and rejection. I’ve worked with many people over the years who were stuck in patterns of unrequited love. Lost loves and the backlog of hurtful emotion are digested. Your whole emotional and energetic makeup changes so that you feel more of a sense of wholeness within yourself. You come to a place where you are no longer desperate to make a relationship work. These changes will make you more attractive to the kinds of individuals that you desire to attract into your life.

People who are suffering as a result of an unrequited love often find it difficult to be objective. They don’t seem to get the fact that there are other people out there. They tend to become isolated in their suffering.

You may not find another person that you feel really connected to and then again maybe you will. But at least be open. Put yourself out there. Some of the same kinds of issues will resurface in one form or another. Transformation is a gradual process. Remember to breathe into any feelings that arise and continue with the body work and healing sessions. You will gradually find that you are able to attract more of the love that you need and desire. The process is not necessarily easy, but it’s an essential part of becoming a whole person.

©Copyright 2008 Ben Oofana. All Rights Reserved.  This content may be copied in full, with copyright, contact, creation and information intact, without specific permission, when used only in a not-for-profit format.

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