The Magical Cure For All Of Our Relationship Issues
Ava was in a very difficult space when she first showed up for class. Her boyfriend of the past two years had recently broken off the relationship. The overwhelming feelings of grief and loss were making it very difficult for her to sleep at night. Ava wasn’t eating much and had lost a considerable amount of weight. She was also finding it very difficult to function.
I asked Ava to close her eyes and bring her former partner into her awareness and then tell me how she was feeling in response to what had taken place. Ava told me that she was experiencing a great deal of pain in the middle of her chest. I had her breathe into those feelings for about ten minutes and then I checked in to see how she was doing. Ava told me that the pain had softened and that she was beginning to feel a sense of calm.
Ava showed up again in class two weeks later. This time she began to talk about another breakup she had gone through a few years prior. Ava’s friends had encouraged her to come out and party with them and forget about the boyfriend. She spent the next few months self-medicating by drinking heavily to escape the pain and sorrow of her loss.
Ava has never learned how to deal with her emotions and that has prevented her from healing or resolving the underlying issues. Her most recent boyfriend accused her of taking out all of her leftover anger and frustration on him. She came to the realization that the emotions and issues connected to past losses and other unresolved internal conflicts had spilled over into her most recent relationship. These unresolved conflicts created a great deal of additional stress that eventually precipitated the breakup of the relationship.
Many of the people who come to my classes have been deeply hurt. Some have struggled with the same patterns of rejection, abandonment and unrequited love throughout their lives. They may also have a history of attracting abusive partners. But they do not possess the understanding or the resources that would enable them to heal the wounds and turn their lives around.
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