Many of us have become so resistant to experiencing our true feelings and this resistance is our greatest impediment to healing. The emotions we bury inside ourselves prevent us from recognizing or healing the patterns that we are enacting in our relationships. They also blind us so that we cannot see our partners for who they truly are.

Those of us who do not learn to “digest” our feelings and life experiences will never heal the hurt or resolve the underlying issues. The pain and confusion will remain trapped within our bodies indefinitely, causing the dysfunctional patterns to become more deeply entrenched. Parts of our consciousness freeze up around these emotional wounds and may prevent us from ever learning or growing.

Painful emotions that we fail to process become the driving force that fuels our dysfunction. The grief and pain held within causes us to continually reenact our patterns of abandonment, rejection and unrequited love. The pain of past abuse also causes us to attract more abusive partners who will invariably inflict more pain. Some of us will isolate by building walls around ourselves to keep other people from getting too close so we don’t get hurt again.

Our thoughts, feelings and life experiences need to be digested and assimilated. Healing can only take place when we become fully present by completely experiencing what we truly feel.

Every person’s experience of healing will vary. I’ve worked with many people after going through a breakup or divorce. Some are able to bounce back and get on with their lives after a few healing sessions. The healing process can take years for people, such as myself who have experienced significant trauma in their lives.

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