Abdominal Pain and Bloating

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Digestion 2
Nearly all of us experience abdominal pain at some point in our life. In most instances it is not caused by a serious medical problem. Abdominal pain can originate from any of the internal organs such as the stomach, small and large intestines, liver, gall bladder, spleen or kidneys.

The severity of the pain doesn’t necessarily reflect seriousness of the condition causing the discomfort. Severe abdominal pain can result from gas or cramping and is usually not an indication of serious health issues, unless it last longer than twenty-four hours and is accompanied by a fever. Mild pain or an absence of pain or sensation may be present with life-threatening conditions such as cancer or the early stages of appendicitis.

Abdominal pain may vary from being generalized throughout the midsection or focused in specific areas. Localized pain is more likely to indicate that there is a problem in one of the internal organs such as the appendix, gallbladder or stomach.

There are many possible causes for abdominal pain and bloating such as diverticulitis, food allergies, food poisoning, stomach flu and indigestion. Pain in the upper portion of the abdomen may be an indication of a heart attack. Pain or burning sensation in the upper abdomen that is either relieved or gets worse when we eat may result from gastritis or an irritation of the stomach resulting from an ulcer. A stomach that is very tender to the touch accompanied by bloody diarrhea or stools that are black and tarry or vomiting blood may be an indication of appendicitis, infectious diarrhea, bleeding from the bowels or bowel blockage. Pain in the upper portion of the abdomen that worsens when we eat fatty foods may indicate an infection of the gallbladder. Pain in the lower abdomen accompanied by blood or mucus in the stools could be a sign of ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease which is an inflammatory disease of the large intestines. Going without a bowel movement for a few days or longer or having to strain while using the bathroom is usually an indication of constipation. Abdominal pain may also indicate the presence of parasites or obstruction within the intestines resulting from a tumor or polyp. Chronic dull pain associated with the loss of body weight and the presence of blood in the stool, black tarry stools, vomiting or jaundice may indicate the presence of cancer or hepatitis. Pain experienced in response to an injury sustained after an accident or blow to the stomach may be an indication of internal bleeding, rupture of the spleen or damage to other internal organs.

Mild discomfort or a feeling of pressure in the lower abdomen that is accompanied by burning sensations when urinating may be an indication of cystitis which is an infection of the urinary tract. Sharp sudden pain that starts in the back near the ribs and moves down towards the groin may indicate the presence of kidney stones or kidney or bladder infection.

A number of disease processes that occur in other parts of the body have their origins within the gastrointestinal tract. Diseases associated with the gastrointestinal tract disorders include depression, migraine headaches, asthma, sinusitis and fibromyalgia.

Consistent pain in the lower abdomen accompanied with vaginal discharge may be a sign of pelvic inflammatory disease which is an infection around the ovaries, uterus and fallopian tubes. Lower abdominal or pelvic pain in pregnant women accompanied by abdominal bleeding may be an indication of an ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage.

It’s important that we not ignore symptoms of disease, but to see a physician to determine the cause and administer proper treatment if necessary. We need to seek medical attention if we are unable to pass stools, if we are vomiting blood or passing blood in our stools, experience burning sensations while urinating or if we have a fever over one hundred degrees Fahrenheit. Electrolyte imbalances caused by chronic diarrhea can have especially severe consequences particularly in young children and the elderly and may result in dehydration, brain damage, kidney failure, heart attack or stroke. A physician should be consulted if diarrhea persists for longer than twenty-four hours. Diagnostic measures such as blood tests, ultrasound of the abdomen and gastroscopy and colonoscopy can help to determine the source of the problem.

Gas and bloating

Gas and bloating are signs that food is not being properly digested. Stress or anxiety, gastrointestinal infection, parasitic infestation, bowel obstruction and diseases such as irritable bowel syndrome, ulcerative colitis and Celiac disease can also contribute to bloating. Abdominal bloating may also result from consuming gas producing foods such as beans and broccoli.

People who experience lactose intolerance may experience bloating as a result of their inability to digest dairy products. Others may experience an allergic reaction to gluten which is a component found in wheat. It’s fairly common for people with a history of trauma to have food sensitivities that cause them to react adversely to a number of foods. That can severely limit the range of foods they are able to consume.

Cramping and bloating is often accompanied by abdominal pain. Cramping often occurs because of muscle spasms in the internal organs that occur in response to allergic reactions to certain foods. Cramping in the region directly behind the navel is related to the small intestines. Cramping near the sides, top and bottom of the lower abdomen is associated with the colon or large intestines.

Dietary Choices

Poor dietary choices are often the source of abdominal pain and bloating. Consumption of highly processed foods, artificial sweeteners and carbonated drinks contribute to bloating. Greasy, fried, fatty foods can cause gastrointestinal irritation. Foods with high amounts of cholesterol are conducive to the formation of bile stones. Consumption of fatty foods can lead to the formation of fat cells throughout the body. Fatty foods also cause bloating by slowing down the body’s ability to empty the stomach.

Diets high in fiber consisting of whole grains, fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts and seeds help to support healthy digestion. Peppermint tea, ginger, pineapple, parsley and yogurts containing intestine-friendly bacterial cultures can enhance our digestive process thereby reducing bloating.

We need to remember that digestion begins in the mouth. We can decrease bloating by taking time to taste and chew our food thoroughly. We also need to be drinking plenty of fluids and getting at least thirty minutes of physical activity a day.

Digestive enzymes

Digestive enzymes are essential to the body’s ability digest, absorb and utilize nutrients in foods. The body’s capacity to produce digestive enzymes decreases as we age. The body has a difficult time digesting foods when it lacks proper enzymes. Foods are more likely to ferment within the digestive tract when there are insufficient digestive enzymes and bile acids to break them down. Difficulty absorbing the nutrients of foods and the resulting toxicity of unprocessed foods that accumulate within the digestive tract can result in a variety of chronic disorders. Taking digestive enzyme supplements can help to alleviate the symptoms of gas and bloating and improve digestion.

Diet and supplements are critically important to maintaining healthy digestion. Some people take the notion too far, assuming they can solve all of their digestive issues by eating the right foods and taking supplements. Our digestive tract will never fully heal until we learn to digest the difficult or painful emotions and heal the traumas that place so much stress upon our physical bodies.

Stress related

A large percentage of issues affecting the digestive tract are stress related. Our life experiences and any subsequent feeling that arise in response to what’s taking place need to be digested. The feelings we fail to digest turn into a heavy congestive residue that is stored within the body’s internal organs and tissues. The stagnant residue of our undigested emotions and other stresses impair the functions of the internal organs.

Physical toxins begin to accumulate within the body when the cells, tissues and organs become loaded down the additional stress of our unprocessed emotional baggage. The combination of age and the accumulation of physical toxin may cause our metabolism to slow down. Many of us start gaining additional weight. Our bodies become very dense from the accumulation of emotional and physical toxin. We may then begin to feel heavy, bloated, stuck and stagnant.

Stagnant emotional residue that accumulates within the body has a deadening effect upon our consciousness. The congealed residue of the feelings and other stresses held within the body impair our ability to process our emotions and work through issues.

Laura internalized much of her mother’s anger during the years she was growing up. She was sexually abused during her childhood and adolescence and held a great deal of emotional pain pertaining to former abusive partners. She works in the financial industry and is also holding a great deal of stress related to her work and the long daily commute.

Laura was very slim as a young woman, but the stresses have been accumulating within her body for many years now. Her metabolism has slowed down and she has gained a considerable amount of weight in recent years. Her naval chakra had broken down completely and was no longer functional. I could also feel a hardened mass within her abdomen.

Laura told me that for much of her life she would decide she wanted to do something and then she just got up and did it. But the accumulation of stress in Laura’s abdomen had shut down her instinctual drive. She has dreamed of going back to school to become a homeopathic physician, but her fears of not succeeding have been holding her back for some time now.

Disrupting the flow

Uma gave birth to her son by Cesarean section. The incision made during the surgery severed the meridians in her lower abdomen and that was causing the life force in this part of her body to pool up and become very stagnant. It also caused considerable damage to the naval chakra.

Uma’s body wasn’t healing on its own. The invasive physical trauma resulting from the surgery left her very dissociated and that was making it difficult for her to function. Uma was overwhelmed by the demands of caring for a young child. The stress upon her body was also compounded by working excessively long hours and getting far too little sleep.

Self-Medicating Our Feelings Away

Varsha has been experiencing a great deal of anxiety about her financial situation. She has been drinking and eating lots of refined sugar and other junk foods over the past few months to cover up the stressful feelings. Varsha started putting on additional weight and her mid-section was becoming very dense.

People who are not dealing with their emotions are more likely to consume refined sugar and other unhealthy foods to diminish the intensity of their anxiety and other stressful feelings. They may also smoke, drink or use other substances to deaden the feelings. The process of desensitization that takes place as we numb our feelings diminishes our capacity to process or work through our emotions and issues. The consciousness within the abdominal region becomes deadened and that leaves us very disconnected.

Treatment for Digestive Distress

People in our western culture have for many years primarily relied upon conventional Allopathic treatment modalities to address symptoms of digestive distress and abdominal pain. Medications are commonly used to alleviate symptoms of gas, bloating, constipation, acid reflux or the pain and inflammation associated with conditions such as ulcerative colitis. People suffering from ulcerative colitis may require surgery if their symptoms do not respond to the medications or if they experience complications such as bleeding or perforation of the intestine.

More people are now turning to holistic treatment modalities such as acupuncture and massage. Herbal remedies such as ajwain seeds, fennel, mugwort, horehound and chamomile help to relieve symptoms of gas and facilitate digestion. Bad bacteria are another common source of digestive issues. The use of probiotics promotes a balance of healthy bacteria within the digestive tract that boosts the immune system and supports good digestion.

Conventional Allopathic and holistic treatment modalities may help to provide momentary relief from the symptoms of digestive distress, but they do not repair the damage within the physical or subtle bodies. Fasting, colonics, acupuncture, acupressure and massage can free up the stagnant energies and other stresses held within the body, but in many instances people do not have the capability to process the feelings and memories that are being brought to the surface.

The stresses of daily life can overwhelm our bodies and minds. I can feel the stress accumulating within my own body in response to the difficulties that I face from day to day. I have to make time to digest these stresses by breathing into the feelings and sensations I experience within my abdomen and various other parts of my body.

I spend a lot of time doing intensive practice, but there still times when the stresses of daily life take their toll on me and I can feel parts of my consciousness contracting. I’m fully cognizant of the fact that I cannot completely heal on my own. Deep tissue body work has helped me to free up the stagnant emotional energies stored in my body. Healing sessions and vision quests help me to digest the emotions that surface, repair damage within my physical and subtle bodies and restore my system. I always experience a greater sense of aliveness throughout my body afterwards.

Our bodies tend to be very resilient during our younger years. But the stresses that we fail to digest tend to congeal within our bodies and minds. The combination of physical and emotional toxins that settle within our abdomen can cause us to feel very heavy and dense and contribute to symptoms of gas and bloating. The subtle bodies, consisting of the aura and chakras support the structural and functional integrity of the organs and systems of the physical body. In many instances the naval chakra breaks down and stops functioning.

Breathing with our attention focused within the feelings and sensations present within the abdomen will help us to become more fully rooted in our bodies. People who are in good shape are more likely to experience sensations of warmth, comfort and aliveness within their digestive tract.

Many people initially tell me that they feel very disconnected from their lower abdominal region. The intestines and other internal organs feel very cold, inert, deadened, inflamed, dark, scary and foreign. Breathing into the sensations within the abdomen helps people to heal and reconnect with this part of their bodies.

The process of reconnecting with our body can feel very uncomfortable at times. Breathing into the physical sensations we experience within the abdomen can bring all kinds of feelings and memories to the surface. The physical toxins that get stirred up in the process may cause us to feel nauseous or experience diarrhea, but the discomfort will subside as we continue to work with the practice.

Breathing into the feelings and sensations within the abdomen awakens the innate healing intelligence that resides within our bodies and minds. It will help us to process the heavy stagnant emotional residue stored within the abdomen. Our bodies will begin to gradually cleanse themselves of the emotional and physical toxins that have been building up within. Our bodies will feel lighter, internal organs become more highly functional and digestion will improve.

Our deeper instinctual consciousness resides within the abdomen. The Enteric nervous system (ENS) which has been described as a second brain consists of over a hundred million neurons and is embedded in the lining of our gastrointestinal system. The ENS produces over thirty neurotransmitters, most of which are identical to those found in the central nervous system such as acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. Neurotransmitters are responsible for the signaling that determines our thought processes, emotions, planning and other types of behavior and the functions of our organs and systems.

Breathing into the feelings and sensations within the abdomen awakens the deeper instinctual consciousness inherent within this part of our bodies. This instinctual consciousness gives us a clear sense of the direction we need to be going in our lives.

The abdominal region is the foundation of our consciousness. Becoming fully present is one of the most important aspects of our personal and spiritual development. We become much more firmly rooted within our bodies as we breathe with our awareness focused within the lower abdomen. We also begin to feel much more connected to the Earth.

Breathing with our awareness focused within the lower abdomen is one of the most powerful self-healing practices we can do. This practice becomes considerably more powerful as we do it more often and for longer periods of time. I recommend that people breathe with their awareness focused within the feelings and sensations present within the intestines for thirty to ninety minutes at a time. This practice should be done daily by those who suffer from digestive issues.

The damage within the intestines and other digestive organs may be so great that it requires additional assistance to facilitate healing. I’ve worked with many people who suffer from a wide range of digestive issues such as gas, bloating, impacted bowel and abdominal pain. The presence working through me during the individual healing sessions cleanses the body of toxicity. Damage is repaired within the physical and subtle bodies and the old stagnant emotional residue is purified so it can be digested. In many instances the stomach flattens out and people experience a greater sense of aliveness within their abdomen and other parts of their bodies.

Digestive disorders such as Crohn’s disease, irritable bowel syndrome and ulcerative colitis usually respond very well to the individual healing sessions. The presence working through me rebuilds the naval chakra and repairs damage within the digestive tract. People usually begin to notice improvement within a few sessions. I worked with an elderly man who suffered from ulcerative colitis that complained of abdominal pain and bloody stools. The symptoms of pain, inflammation and bleeding completely subsided after five to six sessions. He went back to his enterologist who confirmed that he had made a dramatic recovery.

A large percentage of the population suffers from abdominal pain, bloating and other digestive issues. The good news is that you can heal with the right combination of foods, supplements and healing practices. These conditions are usually very responsive to the practices I teach and the form of healing power I work with. Feel free to call me at (913) 927-4281 when you’re ready to take the steps that will facilitate your healing.

©Copyright 2011 Ben Oofana. All Rights Reserved. This content may be copied in full, with copyright, contact, creation and information intact, without specific permission.

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Resistance to Being Fully Present

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Presence2
People initially approach me with an enthusiasm saying that they want to heal. That enthusiasm often disappears as soon as the underlying feelings and issues that are the source of many of their problems start making their way to the surface. This loss of enthusiasm stems largely from people’s resistance to being present with their feelings, physical bodies and the realities of their everyday lives. This same resistance is what prevents people from gaining awareness, learning from their experiences, growing and healing.

I have watched so many people take a few steps to heal only to have their resistance to being present derail the healing process. Ella has been working as a nutritionist for many years and yet she has always struggled to support herself. The relationship with her partner is very tumultuous at times. Ella and her partner fight like cats and dogs. Her fears of dying have grown along with the range of age related health issues that have emerged in recent years. Ella has been too fearful to go in for a physical exam, despite any concerns she might have for her health and wellbeing.

I would have Ella close her eyes, bring the issues and concerns to the forefront of her awareness, notice what she was feeling within her body and then tell me where the feelings were situated. I then had Ella breathe into the feelings and sensations that arose. People that I work with often tell me how this practice helps them to diffuse and then digest the highly charged emotions that are the source of many of their difficulties. Ella was incredibly resistant to the process and would sometimes say “I hate this!”

Ella had resisted being present for so long that her internal state of being has become a living hell. I told her that she couldn’t possibly experience all of these feelings or go through so much discomfort if she weren’t holding so much toxic drama and emotion within her body. What she hates is being present in her own body, with the feelings contained therein and the realities of her everyday life. Needless to say, Ella’s drama continues.

Most people do not react as Ella did. They may even enjoy the healing process and acknowledge the benefits that they have derived from the individual sessions. Some even rave about the difference the healing sessions have made in their lives, and yet many cannot sustain this level of presence.

Mia was sexually abused as a child and was later abused by the psychiatrist she sought out for treatment. She had so medicated herself into oblivion that one of her friends had to call and schedule the initial appointments. Before long Mia was able to call and schedule her own sessions. With each of the individual session she was developing greater lucidity. Mia began to address the issues pertaining to her finances, her mother’s failing health and it was quite obvious that she was beginning to function better in all areas of her life. I had hopes for Mia after seeing her starting to return to herself, but she would do a few sessions and then disappear for periods time. She would show up months later and then disappear again. I haven’t heard from Mia in quite some time now. The last time I spoke with her, it was evident that she was allowing herself to sink back into her pharmaceutically induced haze.

People like Mia are holding a lifetime of pain, trauma, fear and confusion within their bodies. Matters are further compounded because they lack many of the basic faculties needed to facilitate the healing of these traumas. Traumatic experiences and their corresponding emotional responses alter the biochemical makeup and neurostructure of the brain. The subtle bodies consisting of the chakras and layers of the aura are often damaged and in many instances they fail to fully develop. The combination of these factors can leave survivors of trauma overwhelmed and incapacitated.

The presence working through me during the individual sessions facilitates healing by helping people like Mia to diffuse and then digest the traumas and subsequent layers of emotion. Changes in the structural and biochemical makeup of the brain and the building of the chakras and layers of the aura resulting from the healing sessions make it easier for these individuals to contain and then process their feelings and experiences. Feelings and memories need to be brought to the surface so that healing can take place. The first impulse of many survivors of trauma is to run. The challenge is getting people that who have suffered as a result of traumatic events to remain present to themselves by sticking with the process long enough to build a strong and healthy foundation.

Resistance is inevitable because we learn from such an early age to disconnect from our bodies, our feelings and issues and the realities of our lives that we don’t want to deal with. Our habitual tendency to avoid or resist causes these patterns to become even more deeply ingrained. It is critically important for us to understand that our feelings and the issues we need to be addressing will never just go away. Whatever we fail to process will remain trapped within our bodies and minds. And that will cause our bodies and minds to break down.

We smoke and drink and self-medicate with other recreational drugs. We take pharmaceuticals to numb the pain. We eat way more than our body needs to sustain itself. And we spend hours of the day on Facebook, Instagram and other social media sites and we find innumerable other distractions to take us away from what it is that we don’t want to feel.

The feelings we disconnect from may no longer register within our conscious awareness after some time. Our resistance to being present is what prevents us from becoming fully conscious. To the extent that we’re not being conscious we’re walking around in a state of unconsciousness. The disconnect becomes so great that it leaves us blind and numb to whole bandwidths of our consciousness. The resulting desensitization prevents us from seeing and feeling the implications of our actions upon ourselves, other people and the world in which we live. And that accounts for so much of our craziness individually and collectively as a human species.

We may eat right and exercise. We may even pray, meditate, chant mantras, do Tai Chi, Yoga, Pranayama, go to our preferred house of worship and bow at the guru’s feet and yet we still deny and disconnect from our feelings, avoid the issues and refuse to go to those wounded places within. Prayer, most forms of meditation, yoga and tai chi all benefit us in many ways and yet they’re not going to heal the deep emotional wounds. And no great god from the sky is going to come down and take it all away. We have to become fully present to our issues, the realities of our lives and the subsequent feelings that arise from them.

I was very resistant to the painful feelings that arose in response to the abuses suffered during my childhood and adolescence and the subsequent patterns of abandonment, unrequited love and abusive relationships that began to play out in my adult life. My resistance to what I was feeling reinforced the relational dynamics that were causing me to suffer so terribly. This same resistance is what prevented me from healing. It took me a long time to realize that I could never escape from the pain. I could only go through the middle of it. I taught myself to be fully present to the realities of what wasn’t working in my relationships and all the subsequent feelings attached to them. Breathing into all the feelings and physical sensations began to awaken the innate healing power residing within my body and mind. The pain was transformed. And in the process of doing so it became fuel for growth.

There were many instances where I would start to access my feelings, but my internal resistance would cause me to pop out of them. I had to train myself to remain fully present to my feelings by continually bringing myself back to them whenever my defense mechanisms caused me to jump track. I would breathe into the numbness during those times I couldn’t access my feelings or the stuckness I felt when parts of my life weren’t working.

I have been making a very conscientious effort to become more cognizant of the many areas of life where I am resistant. I do that by teaching myself to pay more attention to the times when I react to people and situations. At other times catch myself complaining about what’s not working, becoming frustrated or angry or trying to control the outcome of a situation.

It is appropriate for us to react when we’re faced with a legitimate threat to our wellbeing. Most situations do not warrant such a strong response. I find that I can respond more appropriately to people, situations and the issues that are of concern to me when I breathe into the feelings that were causing me to react. And then there are other times when I need to let go of any attempt to control or influence and just allow people and circumstances to be as they are.

All kinds of feelings and issues make their way to the surface in response the various practices and interventions that I do. It can feel very uncomfortable at the time these feelings and issues are surfacing, but I always feel a greater sense of aliveness and find that I’m more capable of doing whatever it is that I need to be doing as I work through the feelings and issues. I want as much of this aliveness, presence and power as I can get.

There are times when I felt incredibly resistant while on the vision quest, a traditional Native American healing practice that involves going out to fast alone in the mountains for four days and nights without food or water. The resistance becomes so strong as the powerful forces working on me began to move through my body. I sometimes felt as though I wanted to jump out of my skin. I would become so angry and frustrated as the resistance intensified that I wanted the whole experience to be over with. I finally realized after some time that it was during these times when I felt the most overwhelmed and the most resistant that I was making the greatest breakthroughs. I learned to stop fighting the process by becoming as present as I possibly could in the midst of my discomfort. The breakthroughs I experienced became that much more profound as I learned to become more fully present in this way.

Healing requires courage, commitment and consistency. Healing and personal growth ceases to happen when we stop feeling and addressing our issues and embracing life. The feelings, issues and realities of our daily lives that need to be dealt with can be unpleasant at times, but the only true way forward is to remain fully present to the best of our ability. Facing our issues, dealing directly with life as it unfolds, feeling what we truly feel and making use of the interventions that enable us to facilitate the aspects of our healing process that we cannot fully do on our own make it possible for us to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

©Copyright 2015 Ben Oofana. All Rights Reserved. This content may be copied in full, with copyright, creation and contact information intact, without specific permission.

Ben Oofana is a healer who began his training with Horace Daukei, one of the last surviving traditional doctors among the Kiowa Indian tribe. Call (913) 927-4281 to learn more or to schedule an individual session.

Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Relationships

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Abusive Relationships
Many of us suffer terribly as a result of being neglected, abandoned or abused by those entrusted to care for us during our childhood. Being abused as a child is bad enough. It would be so nice if we could just move on in our lives and leave the past behind. Sadly, these patterns of abuse often carry over into our adult relationships. We invariably end up attracting partners that say and do things that reinforce our childhood wounds.

Elements of our childhood innocence can stay with us throughout our adolescence and into adulthood. It’s our naiveté that sometimes makes us vulnerable to people that have the potential to inflict tremendous harm upon us. We open our hearts to these individuals and then they end up saying and doing things that evoke all kinds of painful feelings.

We all have legitimate needs to love and be loved. But the hurtful things our partners say and do keep us on a continual emotional rollercoaster. We try to make it right by talking the issues out, but then our partner keeps saying and doing things that causes us more pain and that deepens the cycle of traumatic bonding that leaves us feeling strung out emotionally.

We resist the horribly painful emotions by going up into our heads. Our thoughts become obsessive as we spin around in endless cycles of analysis in our attempt to make sense of what we’re going through. We come up with all kinds of distorted rationalizations to justify our partner’s behavior. And then we talk about our partners and how hurt and crazy they’re making us with anyone that we can get to listen. We’re trying to find relief from the pain, but we end up sucking the life out of those who have to listen.

Our continual analysis of everything our partners says and does is an attempt to maintain our sanity by gaining some sense of control of our relationships, ourselves and the feelings we’re experiencing. Spinning around in our thoughts is an incredibly dangerous practice in that it reinforces the disconnect from our feelings and physical bodies. Our obsessive thoughts also generate more and more painful emotion. These highly charged emotions end up getting trapped within our bodies. It’s this powerful emotional force that fuels the addiction that makes it so difficult for us to let go of an abusive partner.

The buildup of painful emotions within our body in combination with our tendency to dissociate erodes the faculties within our bodies and minds that would enable to process the hurt. We keep resisting all those horribly painful and crazy making feelings. And by shutting down emotionally we end up digging ourselves in deeper.

The pain we keep resisting continually reinforces our addiction to unavailable, narcissistic and otherwise abusive partners. We need to fully experience any feelings that arise in response to what our partners are doing. It is critically important for us to interrupt the pattern of obsessive thought. The first step of breaking out of the cycle of obsessive thought involves asking ourselves. “What are the deepest feelings behind all of these thoughts?” We need to notice what we’re feeling and where the feelings are situated within our body. We then need to breathe softly and deeply while fully immersing ourselves in the midst of any feelings or bodily sensations that arise. Our mind will invariably wander back into the obsessive thoughts. We need to keep interrupting the thoughts by returning to the underlying feelings. This process can be very difficult in the beginning and yet it becomes easier with practice.

The need for intervention

Breaking out of the cycle of abusive relationships requires a tremendous effort. Practices such as the one I described above are a critically important part of the process. Patterns of abusive relationships often become so deeply entrenched that we cannot heal completely on our own. We need specific interventions to facilitate the part of the healing process that we cannot do for ourselves.

Deep tissue bodywork helps brings the emotions stored within our bodies up to the surface so that they can be processed. Nourishing physical contact combined with the processing of our feelings helps us to develop a stronger connection with our physical bodies while freeing us from the cycle of addiction to abusive partners.

The trauma that we have experienced in abusive relationships gets hard wired into the body and mind. Working with a number exceptionally gifted healers and going on the vision quest, a traditional Native American healing practice that involves going out to fast alone in the mountains for four days and nights without food and water helped me to diffuse and then digest the traumas of my past and build the new foundation that has enabled me to attract healthier companions. Taking the steps to heal my own woundedness has enabled me to facilitate healing within others that are faced with the same issues.

People that are getting into relationships with abusive partners are holding huge amounts of painful emotion in their bodies. The pain that gets internalized often cause them to dissociate from their feelings and physical bodies. It also creates a lot of tension within the body. I can feel much of this tension deep within the internal organs. All of this toxic emotion and tension resulting from the chronic stress of being with an abusive partner is very damaging to the brain and the body’s other internal organs. It also does tremendous damage to the subtle bodies consisting of the chakras and layers of the aura.

People that work with me individually experience a gradual process of transformation that frees them from patterns of abusive partners and relationships. The presence working through me during the individual healing sessions does this by dissolving the many layers of many layers of tension and body armor. The addictive attachment to abusive partners lessens with each session as the painful emotions and other stresses are diffused and digested. Digesting the backlog of painful emotions enables them to become more fully present in their bodies. Healing the deep emotional wounds enables these individuals to develop a healthier relationship with themselves. Their intuitive senses grow stronger and that gives them a better sense of other people. Self-love and appreciation grows as they continue to progress in their healing. They naturally find themselves attracted to and attracting healthier partners as a result of the healing taking place within their bodies and minds.

Cover Image “Battered Woman on the Ever of Liberation” by Isabel Rooney http://isabel-rooney.sytes.net/index.html

©Copyright 2014 Ben Oofana. All Rights Reserved. This content may be copied in full, with copyright, creation and contact information intact, without specific permission.

Ben Oofana is a healer who began his training with Horace Daukei, one of the last surviving traditional doctors among the Kiowa Indian tribe. Call (913) 927-4281 to learn more or to schedule an individual session.

The Importance of Work – Life Balance in Maintaining Healthy and Loving Relationships

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Work Life Balance 4Sean felt a desperate longing to have someone in his life during his teens and twenties. What made it even worse is that he could see that so many of his peers were coupling up. But Sean’s attempts to find love were often met with rejection. In more recent years he has experienced a growing sense of resignation. After so much disappointment Sean tells me that he’s feeling “What’s the use?”

There was a very heavy and even oppressive quality to Sean’s presence. Feelings of hurt, sadness, disappointment emanated from his body, and yet he has become largely numb to his feelings. Sean doesn’t have the understanding or resources needed to process all of that. And he certainly doesn’t have the time because he’s working eight hours a day while attending graduate school during the evenings.

I was surprised that Sean actually scheduled an individual session after attending one of my classes. He felt restless and found it difficult to access his feelings during class as I guided him through the meditation practices. Sean began to feel a range of bodily sensations in response to the Chi Gong practices I had him doing during the preliminary stage of the individual session. But he told me that he couldn’t feel much happening while he was on the table during the actual healing session.

I was disappointed, but not at all surprised when Sean told me that he didn’t feel much happening. Much of what he said and his whole expression indicated that he had become very desensitized. Sean’s body had a very dense quality resulting from the backlog of painful emotions and other stresses that had been congealing within. Sean’s body was responsive to the work. I could feel the stagnant emotions and armoring beginning to soften and dissolve.

I could also see that Sean has a lot of potential if he were willing to actually do the work necessary to facilitate change. I tried to encourage Sean to do at least twenty to thirty minutes a day of the Chi Gong practices that I has showed him when I called to follow up. I told Sean that I would even be willing to look into his aura to monitor the changes that would be taking place as a result of working with these practices. I also told him that twenty to thirty minutes of practice a day is a small investment. But Sean said that he wasn’t sure that he could find the time to do the practices I had taught him because his work and studies were taking up so many hours of the day.

Sean, is like so many other people nowadays are working and studying such long hours that they don’t have time to invest in their health or to have much of a life outside of work and school. What concerns me is that the experience of not connecting in relationships and the resulting depression will only become that much more deeply entrenched.

Many of us are working, going to school or both. It’s common for people certain in professions such as medicine to work inordinately long hours. We may have to do that for periods of time, but it’s not something we can do indefinitely without suffering the consequences.

Our emotional development gets put on hold when we’re working and studying such exceptionally long hours because we don’t have time or resources needed to process our life experiences and any subsequent feelings that arise. The feelings and stresses of work and other aspects of our lives that we fail to process can remain trapped within the bodies indefinitely. These accumulated stresses have a very numbing or deadening effect. Our life force becomes very stagnant and the physical and subtle bodies begin to break down. Many of us are only making matters that much worse when fail to get adequate sleep, when we spend too much time online, consume alcohol and other recreational drugs or rely on medications to alleviate our depression, anxiety and panic attacks.

The mental tasks that many of us are performing during the work day and night keep our awareness centered in our heads. The problem with being overly focused in our head for so many hours of the day and night is that it dissociates us from our feelings and physical bodies. We start losing touch with crucial aspects of ourselves.

Working such exceptionally long hours on a regular basis can stunt our emotional and interpersonal development. We’re actually losing the resources we need to experience a truly intimate relationship with ourselves and others and to cope effectively with the challenges of everyday life. Crises that occur in our lives such as a breakup, divorce or the loss of employment can leave us that much more devastated because we don’t have the resources or faculties needed to process them.

The life force within our bodies becomes very stagnant when we’re living in our heads, and even more so when we’re sitting in front of the computer for such long periods of time. We become less attractive as we become more dissociated and hold lots of stagnant energies in our bodies. And that makes it considerably more difficult for us to attract or maintain healthy and loving relationships.

It is critically important for us to balance our work with other activities that encourage us to connect with our feelings, physical bodies, other people and the world in which we live. We need to be making time to engage face to face with other people in a social or deeply personal context.

We need to be moving our bodies whether it be through walking, running, sports or some other physical activities. Disciplines such as yoga and tai chi can be especially helpful because they encourage us to be more mindful of our bodies. Mindfulness practices such as the ones I teach help to develop a stronger connection to our feelings and physical bodies while awakening the body’s own natural healing intelligence. These practices cleanse the body of stagnant energies and increase the life force while helping us to become more fully present.

The stresses and demands of everyday life can wear us down over time. We all need to be making use of various therapeutic interventions to facilitate healing and reconnect us with our physical bodies. Deep tissue massage and other forms of body work provide a wide range of health benefits while giving us a very enjoyable experience of being in our bodies.

I see the effects of the adverse effects of what people have to do just to make it in this world as I look into their bodies and minds. The presence working through me during the individual healing sessions restores the body-mind connection by helping people to process the backlog of stagnant emotion and other stresses held within the body. Damage is also repaired in the physical and subtle bodies. Their bodies and minds become more resilient. Some are at a place in their lives where they have no choice but to keep up with the grueling pace. The sessions help to sustain these individuals by mitigating the wear and tear of work, school and other demands until they can get to a better place. Others are able to make changes in their lives that enable them to better care for themselves.

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